The layers of matrescence

Motherhood finds us, and sometimes it changes the color of almost every other layer of who we are. But not always.

Some things transform completely, some shift just a little, and others continue to be part of us almost exactly as they were before.

Our relationship may find a new dynamic. Conversations with friends change, and some friendships may quietly dissolve. Work can suddenly take a different place in our lives, or make us question whether we still want the same things. Time for ourselves becomes sacred, sometimes available only in tiny pieces. Our body asks for patience and acceptance.

Our identity can take a little longer. We look for it, wanting to recognize ourselves again, while knowing that we are not exactly the same person we were before.

We are mothers, and we are still daughters, perhaps now with a different understanding of our own mothers. We are partners, sisters, friends, aunts, professionals, women. All of that is still there.

All of these layers keep changing color, while our body, our emotions, our mind and our inner world are also going through their own process. Sometimes feeling a little lost or dizzy. Sometimes finding ourselves in something new and really shining there.

Matrescence is not about going back to who we were. It is about slowly discovering who we are now, without needing to leave all the other versions of ourselves behind.